Talk Fantasy Football

Last weekend was a disaster for my ork team. They were facing a goblin team and between Morg'n'Thorg and liberal use of chainsaws I have one Black Orc out for next game and one (the ST5, Block, Guard one) dead!
To make matters worse, now I'm facing the hardest team in our local tournament. I have to play this TR205 Dwarf team:

• 1 McConnor Blockers 4 3 2 9 Block, Tackle,Thick Skull,Guard,Mighty Blow
  2 McHornsburg Blockers 4 3 2 9 Block, Tackle, Thick Skull,Mighty Blow
  3 McRedhorn Blockers 4 3 2 9 Block, Tackle, Thick Skull, Claws,Guard
  4 McPatrick Blockers 4 3 2 9 Block, Tackle, Thick Skull,Guard
  6 McRiley Blockers 4 3 2 9 Block, Tackle, Thick Skull,
  7 McBlack Blockers 4 3 2 9 Block, Tackle, Thick Skull,
  8 McSean Blockers 4 3 2 9 Block, Tackle, Thick Skull,
  10 McMohawk Troll Slayers 5 3 2 8 Block, Dauntless, Frenzy, Thick Skull, Claws,Mighty Blow,Piling On,Tackle
  11 McMayhem Troll Slayers 5 3 2 8 Block, Dauntless, Frenzy, Thick Skull,Mighty Blow,Tackle
  12 McLight Runners 7 3 3 8 Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, Dodge,
  13 Brady McLunch Runners 6 3 3 8 Sure Hands, Thick Skull,Accurate,Block,Pass,
  14 McTwain Blitzers 5 3 3 9 Block, Thick Skull, Dodge, Guard, Mighty Blow,
  15 McArthur Blitzers 5 3 3 8 Block, Thick Skull,Guard,Mighty Blow,
  16 McDonald Deathroller 4 7 1 10 Break Tackle, Dirty Player, Juggernaut, Mighty Blow, No Hands, Secret Weapon, Stand Firm,

The little guys won the Chaos Cup last year, so he has two guys with claws. Please notice the little piece of cheese #10 McMohawk... Quite a terror, huh?

This is my team for the match:

• 1 Skulllust 'Eadsnappa Black Orc Blockers 4 4 2 9 Block, Guard
  2 EvilArd Bender Black Orc Blockers 4 4 2 9 Block
  3 Dead
  4 MNG
  5 Boxer Blitzers 6 3 3 9 Block, Guard, Mighty Blow
  6 Thrusta Testa Blitzers 6 3 3 9 Block, Dodge, Guard
  7 Pounder Blitzers 6 4 3 9 Block, Tackle
  8 Cherry Picka Blitzers 6 3 3 9 Block, Strip Ball
  9 Zoomba Pitch Throwers 5 3 3 8 Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate
  10 Quarta Bork Throwers 5 3 3 8 Pass, Sure Hands, Leader
  11 Gulp Ogreslayer Goblins 6 2 3 7 Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty,
  12 Wildblood Trollbasha Linemen 5 3 3 9 Block
  13 Grog Persson Linemen 5 3 3 9
  16 The Apothecary Troll 4 5 1 9 Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate,

I get 350.000 gp for inducements for that match, but I'm still dreading it. Strengthwise we are pretty evenly matched, but it's those claws guys who are bringing on the pain. Orcs really depend on their armour 9 to keep them safe, but when you remove that advantage what have you got? Slow, easy targets! To top that, he's got 7 players with mighty blow while I've only got 2. This basically means that if I allow it to degenerate into a slugfest I will loose. Badly.

Any suggestions? Both in terms of inducements and strategies?

He's got more Guard, more Mighty Blow, and more Claws .

Well, it was nice knowing you.

Seriously, this will be a tough game. The main piece of advice that I have is to avoid contact with him and use your speed. Let him try to come into contact with you, and you bash him back. And remember that dodging with AG3 ain't that bad. Can be better to dodge away than get hit by that #10 monster.

A few ideas for the inducements. Remember that any of these could be completely useless depending on dice rolls and how the game will evolve.

1) Bribes. Use to foul. If you can get numbers on him, it will be easier. With one or two bribes, you can foul every turn until you run-out of bribes.

2) Chainsaw. I would use him to foul. +3 on armor coupled with a few bribes, and you're not doing so bad. Hope that you don't need the bribes on the fouls and you can use the bribe to keep the chainsaw for another drive. But protect the chainsaw, and don't block with him. Your opponent will try to hit him to get him off the pitch. He hides behind your line. When you get a Dwarf down, you bring-in a few assists and get the chainsaw to do the foul. Position him so that he is very hard to blitz.

3) Wizard. Once he cages-up with lots of players (and try to coherce him into doing so), fireball the cage. Hit as many guys as possible. Try to do that early in the game, or at least early in the drive. If you get guys off early in the drive, you can get man advantage and then you'll be OK, for that drive at least.

4) Babes. Helpful, a bit bland. I don't use them on my Orc team usually, but against that Dwarf team could be a good idea. No fun factor.

5) Wandering Apoth. Tend not to use him on Orcs, but again this is a special case, could be worth it. No fun factor.

6) Stars and Mercs. I tend not to use them, except for on special occasions when I have something specific in mind. Like in this case, the Chainsaw. Mercs are too expensive generally. And they can both steal your MVP, which I really hate (unless your league house-ruled otherwise).

My recommendation:

2 Bribes. Use the Goblin to foul every turn that you can.

1 Wizard. Use the fireball to blow-up as many Dwarves as possible, early a drive, early in the game.

The wizard is a good idea - however I'd not use it early, as its unlikely to cause any real damage. Instead the threat of the fireball (make lots of explodiing noises whilst hiring!) should be used to try and encourage him to spread out the cage a bit more and maybe give an opening. If you have his cage under lots of pressure then use the fireball to burst it open and recover the ball. Remember you only need to turn him over once to at least draw!

I'm not convinced about the value of 2 bribes, when you don't have DP against a team loaded with Av9 and Thick Skull. Maybe swap one for the chainsaw and use him on the troll slayers/runners or to foul? Use the bribe to keep him on the pitch for a 2nd drive (and with this lineup you ought to be able to get nearly 16 turns!).

Thanks for the replies. The match was moved up the schedule and we played it tonight. I'm happy to inform that I won 2-1. After a disastrous first half where the stunties maimed both Ulgroth Bolgrot and Varag Ghoul-chewer, my ST4 blitzer saved the day. Scoring one early touchdown and then taking full advantage of a timely 'Blitz!' kick-off result in my favour, he waltzed into the dwarven end zone just a few seconds before the whistle.

Naturally he was chosen to be the MVP of the match, and promptly rolled double five! So now he gets dodge and is ST4, Blodge, tackle... I think I'm in love.

The dwarves? They scored a touchdown and killed my troll twice, only to see him regenerate and smile at them from the reserves box at the end of the game.

Well done ulrikk.

Let us know any specific moves you pulled off to make it happen....

I just got royally thumped by a guard /S4 heavy dwarf team, so I know that beating THAT team...musta been pure magic.

grats again

Congratz. Weez all prowd ta heer yooz dun kentynyood da traditchun uvv stompin' da stunteez!

-- Gargbad Gobsmakka, 'Ead Coach, Orkyzoner Wildsquigz

Congrats. I totally dislike all dwarves and think any team playing them ought to be allowed shotguns on the pitch.