Talk Fantasy Football

I'm not a big Dwarf guy, but I inherited a Dwarf team, and played an exhibition game with it against a newbie coach as part of our open preseason (teams rebuilt after preseason with option to hire preseason players). It was a great game, I "lost" 2-1 to a new coach (so I was kind of advising against myself in the first half), and now have a Dwarf team well along in its development, so if someone wants to switch to Dwarfs for the regular season they'll have some options (no rolls, but there will be rolls in the next game or two).

So I should paint my Dwarfs, I guess. If I loan them out, maybe I can foist some of the work onto whoever uses them, but I need a theme first.

My first instinct is an NFL pun. The Cans of $#!‡‡y Beef? I could come up with a backstory about how Khazalid has too many characters and sometimes Khazalid transcription draws on ASCII characters that have little use in the Old World, so $#!‡‡y is an adjective that means mighty and subterranean, with a distinctive odor. (I mean, what's a dollar in the Empire? And we overuse the exclamation point as is.) I then need player puns. Maybe names centered around meat, like Chuck Roast, B.F. Wellington and A Dwarf Named Stu. I like the red/white Dwarf scheme. My concern is that it's overdone. Maybe I should go for something else. I like green: Philadwarfia? What sounds like Eagles, but is less un-Dwarfy? Or should they be the Eagles or Seagulls or somesuch for juxtapositive impact? After all, the Blitzers do have winged helms. Philadwarfia Egomaniacs? Or I could paint them in the colors of those idiotic "throwback" uniforms they wore last year.

Still open to suggestions. Of course, it'll affect my painting scheme, so I can't start until I know where I'm going. I prefer NFL puns that suggest themes. I can't do the following teams, though, as I've already got puns on these that I'm using or have committed to using.
Houston Oilers/Tennessee Titans
Arizona Cardinals
Pittsburgh Steelers
Indianapolis Colts
Cleveland Browns

I have ideas for these, but haven't done anything, so I'd drop them for something really good.
New England Patriots
Dallas Cowboys
Cincinnati Bengals
Baltimore Ravens
Washington Redskins

well as the dwarf giants are already in and I am a fan of the Jets I have the Dwarf Gyrocopters (as there are no jets in BB/WH) and will be painting them in green and white

Luvvit.

I think I have it, finally. I really like the Philly idea better than the KC idea, though if I ever do two Dwarf BB teams I'll be sure to do something with a similarly bright scheme.

The Full-O-Dwarfia Egomaniacs. All of the player names will be spoofs on athletes with famously outrageous egos. I think I'll make sure to include some Eagles or former Eagles (T.O. comes to mind, and anybody named Kearse just screams for a Blood Bowl parody), and maybe some other famous NFCE egos (a Runner named Tiki and a Blitzer named Pacman, maybe). Should I go into other sports? If so, I should have a Blitzer named Beckham and a Longbeard named Johnny Mac. MJ? But really, I don't think I have to leave football to find fourteen inflated egos. "Warrin' Sapper"!

In case I take a Deathroller... anybody know anything about monster trucks? It'd have to be a good inside pun, and you'd have to explain it to me, 'cause that's not my bag. Ooh... I'll wiki the Snowplow Game and see if that brings something! More ideas welcome.

OK, so player names.

Runners: Minivan McNappin', need a Jaworski reference.

Blitzers: Cryin' Wristbroke, need a T.O. reference.

Slayers: Javon the Accursed, need Reggie White reference.

Longbeards: Need 7. Those guys could just be famous (famous to Yanks, remember) egomaniacs from other sports (Connor, A-Rod, Beckham, McEnroe), or they could be current or former Philly linemen. In the latter case, priority would go to well-known players from this decade (Asante Samuel?) or to HOF'ers. I'm not all that aware of the specifics of the Eagles today (wrong conference) or of Eagles history (wrong coast).