How to cheat at Tabletop

[rolo]

Some people think that Blood Bowl is "only a game" or even, hilariously, "ought to be fun"!

These idiots are exactly the kind of suckers you need to prey on in order to realize the true meaning of Blood Bowl: Crushing your so-called "friends" and making them regret ever wasting their time playing against you!
Remember, if you're not cheating, you're not trying!

(Disclaimer: Just in case it isn't obvious, this post is fully sarcastic. Don't actually do any of these! Trying any of this crap is liable to get you kicked out of your league/tournament, punched in the face, and worse, spoil everyone's enjoyment of the game!)

- Use very light resin or plastic figures, and put them on a heavy, unstable base. This way, "accidentally" bumping the table can cause your figures to stand up like a weeble wobble, saving you valuable movement and maybe even Blitz actions!

- If you need to run out the clock, advance your turn marker when your opponent isn't looking. Then, at the start of the next turn, accuse him of forgetting to move his marker last turn. Generously offer to not apply illegal procedure as long as he "corrects" it.

- Play incredibly slowly until a referee puts both you and your opponent on the clock. This will frustrate your opponent and cause him to make mistakes.
(I've actually played against people at tournaments who do this, it's incredibly irritating).

- Don't actually roll the dice and leave important rolls to chance! On a smooth board, you can put the 6 on top and toss the die at a very shallow angle, so it just slides across the board instead of rolling.

- If a valuable player is in the CAS box, just take your reserves out of there instead of the reserves box.

- If you need to move a player a square or so, just knock him over with a die roll and set him up again where he needs to be.

- Who has Tackle? Whoever's hitting a player with Dodge!

- Out of rerolls? Not if you're using a single reroll marker! Just advance by two at the start of your turn, say "oops, wrong marker", pull it back one, and move your turn marker.

- Start your turn with a few of your players looking in the wrong direction. With any luck, this will confuse your opponent enough to let you take two actions with at least a player or two.

Any other helpful tricks and tips?

[birdman37]

Good list! Here's a couple of additions...

• Always start with 12 players on the pitch.
• Play with indistinguishable, un-numbered miniatures, so that your players can morph between positionals as and when required. Bonus points if you manage to do it with Big Guys.
• If you are planning on buying a card or two, top-deck exactly the card(s) you need.
• If inducing a Star Player and/or mercs, accidentally neglect to add them to your roster, so that the MVP roll doesn't land on them.
• If your opponent induces a Wizard and brings along a miniature to remind them of the fact, eat the miniature.

[lunchmoney]

Use your Apo twice.
Use your Wizard twice.
Use a reroll, don't move the marker, procrastinate over your turn for a bit, continue your turn and use reroll again.
Knock the table, moving all the miniatures, put them back in a more favourable way.
Distract your opponent by pointing out the hottest person ever walking by then move your players.
Use dozens of dice, some with symbols on the 6 and some with a symbol on the 1. Don't tell your opponent which is which and speed through your rolls, picking up your dice really quickly (I actually had someone do this to me in a BBGT several years ago, it really is a d1ck move).
Offer to submit the result to the TO/LC and give a more favourable result.

[Darkson]

Offer to submit the result to the TO/LC and give a more favourable result.

Better yet, be the TO/LC and submit the results however you like.

[adhansa]

Activate stunned players.
Ignore opponent tackle zones.
Ignore MNG, use the player anyway.
Use players not on the roster.
Ignore MV, move the player the distant you need to.
Claim a dice roll to be be easier than it actually is.
Start the turn with players facing different direction, halfway through the turn appear confused on who you have moved, so you can get away with moving some a second time.

Adhansa, the confused, onfocused, involountary cheater.

[rolo]

Use dozens of dice, some with symbols on the 6 and some with a symbol on the 1. Don't tell your opponent which is which and speed through your rolls, picking up your dice really quickly (I actually had someone do this to me in a BBGT several years ago, it really is a d1ck move).

I actually DO use dozens of dice. I have a bunch from tournaments and such, and I like to use fresh dice every time I roll 'em.
In my defense, my dice are fair, every symbol is on the 6, and I make sure my opponent sees the result before I pick up the die. I also share if someone asks.

[Regash]

I just remembered...

A while ago a couple of guys used to roll two D6s when they had a skill allowing to reroll, like Pass or Dodge.
I found that more than confusing, really. Won't say they cheated but still... Confusing for me.

[Shteve0]

For pass or sure hands I'd allow that I think. If they did it for dodge I'd consider that the skill used for the turn.

[Gaixo]

Not for pass, surely. Takes away the need to decide whether inaccurate is good enough.

I only know this because I've tried the same thing myself.

[Shteve0]

True, I hadn't considered that

[Moraiwe]

- Turn up to a tournament with a incorrectly costed Roster that is actually 100k over the TV limit. (don't do what I did and let the TO know after realising the error part-way through the day)

- Umm... this is so simple that I'm surprised nobody's mentioned it: Use loaded dice.

[Saebelsultan]

- Umm... this is so simple that I'm surprised nobody's mentioned it: Use loaded dice.

I thought that was kind of given in this thread, no!?

[Glowworm]

Encourage them into a drinking contest....
Play Woodelves
Always roll "Sweltering heat" on kick offs ( spoiled 2 games in my last tourney so I'll moan about it now!!)
Get the draw fixed so you play Tully

[hissa-lives]

I also share if someone asks.

Had a bad experiance with that recently, huffing out his nose onto his fingers every time he was going to roll a dice. Yes thanks, I'll stop using those dice now until I've had chance to give them a good scrub in boiling hot water

[Vanguard]

I also share if someone asks.

Had a bad experiance with that recently, huffing out his nose onto his fingers every time he was going to roll a dice. Yes thanks, I'll stop using those dice now until I've had chance to give them a good scrub in boiling hot water