(Read on if you dare, this is the product of a slow morning at work!!!)
I present to you, the “Dangerous DV Bookies” analysis thread. Featuring not only a breakdown of the ten teams, but a pick of their standout players, and promising rookies amongst the teams. And debuting the Top Trumps style characteristics for each team. Scored from 1-10, it gives a perfectly scientifically valid* reflection on four characteristics.
Filth Factor: A rating of where the teams stand in comparison to the rest in their racial selections. 1 being the nicest, 10 being the Geordies!
Ranking Points: It’s all about the rankings, right? A combined total of the four players CR with their chosen race, ranked by team totals.
Experience: Measured by total games played by team members with their chosen race, ranked by team.
Win%: Again, a total of the teams W/D/L record combined, just with their Monkey teams again.
Make of it what you will, at best you’ll enjoy it, maybe you’ll just skip to see what your teams rating was, maybe you’ll just ignore the massive wall of text. Whatever, I enjoyed making it!
(* Not scientifically valid at all)
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Brutal Deluxe
Filth Factor: 2
Ranking Points: 3
Experience: 6
Win%: 4
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Leipziger's Nurgle
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Beanbag's Goblins
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 10/1
The only team to represent all four racial tiers, this truly is a diverse creamy conglomeration! Captain Leipziger leads from the front as the most experienced player on the team, the World Cup winner joins with Northern Knight as the only players on the team who have played their team choices before. Don't let that fool you though, as DV Bookies have picked the young and good looking Beanbag as their one to watch. He's the Sex Panther of Blood Bowl, and he's coming at you with Secret Weapons and Ripper! Probably?
Can The Creamy Brutal Whatevertheycallthemselves Team rally round and prove they are better on the field than they are on paper? Only time will tell…
DTW
Filth Factor: 1
Ranking Points: 9
Experience: 10
Win%: 10
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Jimmy's Wood Elves
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Geggster's Chaos
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 100/33
Shocker of the pre-tournament was DTW's racial selection. Has the greatest team ever formed in Blood Bowl history* given in to the constant sniping and pressure from opponents to 'dumb down', or do they genuinely believe they can conquer with a team made up almost exclusively with Tier Three teams?
Can Captain fantastic JimJimany be the glue that holds the team together? Will Paul Gegg's Chaos take a few names and some more NAF points? Is Rycos really a sub 150 ranked coach? And will our resident world #1 find the answers to play Nurgle?
No one can argue the quality, experience, and countless list of trophies won by the members of DTW, but the news of their line-up has caused shockwaves through the community. Clever ploy, or a banana skin waiting to slip on?
(* As claimed by half the members of DTW whilst the other half tried to pretend this never happened!)
Gazza's Tears
Filth Factor: 10
Ranking Points: 10
Experience: 9
Win%: 8
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Stick's Lizardmen
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Pippy's Humans
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: Evens fav.
What can we say? Defending champions and looks like they’ve pulled out the filth to bring it back to the North East once again. Unbeaten in UK team tournaments, they are the team everyone wants to beat. Less said the better I guess. Apart from the prediction that we’ll win. Again.
Parmo Pirates
Filth Factor: 6
Ranking Points: 1
Experience: 2
Win%: 1
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Robsoma's Skaven
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Marley's Passing Khemri!
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 50/1
The rank outsiders of the tournament, Marley’s passing Khemri team should be a thing of beauty if not particularly effective we’re guessing? Will a lack of experience, rankings and winning records mean we should write the Parmo Pirates off? Probably, so we are! Look to Matt’s Skaven for the winning record in the team. Look to this table for the ‘Most alcohol drunk’ award too!
Pippy's Booty Batterers
Filth Factor: 5
Ranking Points: 5
Experience: 4
Win%: 5
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Wightlord's Necromantic
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Dobby's Orcs
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 5/1
On paper, the most average team attending. They’re not bad, but not great, and seem to be average at everything. Before you dismiss them from the title run in though, remember this was what everything was thinking last time, just before the Boot Batterers swept the Swim Team in the final round to leap into Second (Third? I forget…) place.
BigPete has been traded in for the younger sleeker Dobby, who I’m tipping for great things this tournament. With his most average record with Orcs (5/5/5) he seems perfectly average and suited to the team. Wightlord at the helm seems to have an average grasp of Necro (1/1/1), and thechosengobbo is averagely unacustomerd to Ogres (0/0/0). Only Shaniepoo ruins the perfectly average record with his 5/1/6 record, drawing the game he was obviously destined to win!
Can they mount another serious challenge this year? Depends what they are challenging for, the title or Pippy’s rear end?
Swim Team
Filth Factor: 9
Ranking Points: 8
Experience: 8
Win%: 9
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Purplegoo's Wood Elves
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Sillysod's Amazons
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 2/1
The dark horse of the tournament, and many peoples favorites to steal the crown from the Geordies. On paper these guys are good, and on the pitch they’re even better. Without a weak link in the team they have drafted former Flame On B member Barney in with the heavyweight Undead team, and look like a massive threat to everyone. With the recent Dungeonbowl finalist Purplegoo racking up win after win with his Wood Elves, and Geoff making good use of the Vamp’s extra skills at the Monkeybowl ruleset, you really struggle to see where they may slip up. Sillysod is an inexperienced Amazon coach but everyone knows what the Amish styled youngster is capable of. So who can stop this plucky band of mismatched Blood Bowlers?
Well, maybe themselves? Rumours are rife that there may be infighting already, and judging by the capitulation against the Boot Batterers last FlameBowl we may see an outbreak of fighting again on the Sunday. Watch this space to see if they destroy all in their wake, or if they just end up falling out with each other and sulking again?
Team Scotland
Filth Factor: 8
Ranking Points: 6
Experience: 1
Win%: 7
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Phil78's Lizardmen
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Purdindas' Humans
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 8/1
Hoots man! It’s the drunk Jocks! Packing filthy teams and filthier haircuts and beard, the Northern Northerners descend onto Hartlepool to drink Iron Bru and eat Haggis. Probably.
Purdindas could be the captain fantastic he’s promised to be with a solid Human team. Unproven with them so far, he has improved massively over the years into the tournemant player he is today. Phil78 has only played the Lizards once before, but managed to take 3rd place at Geordiebowl and went unbeaten the weekend. Newcomer Shaheen brings a low tier race to squeeze in a load of skills and upset some faces, and the fake Don brings some nasty short Dorfs. It could be a beautifully crafted team of skill and class, but can they deliver 100% after a night on the Special Brew?
Team Special Tactics
Filth Factor: 7
Ranking Points: 7
Experience: 7
Win%: 6
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Nipples' Wood Elves
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Hitonogashi's High Elves
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 3/1
You can’t count these guys out of anything, weighing in well in all the top trump categories and with some great players on the team. We’ve picked Captain Nipples and Hitonogashi as the two to watch here, Nipples has had some great results recently with the Elf teams, winning last years Monkeybowl with the Pro version. Hitonogashi has had some outstanding results too but only with Lizards, can he prove himself with the AG4 across the board?
A snip of a price at 3/1 to win the whole thing, surely worth a punt?
Teesside Alliance
Filth Factor: 3
Ranking Points: 4
Experience: 3
Win%: 2
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: Zedsdead's Undead
'One to Watch' Long Odds: Tritex's Chaos
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 20/1
Thrown together or crafted in awesomeness, you decide? Four maverick players who where pushed together to form the now fabled Teeside Alliance, we are to witness something special from these guys. Not afraid of a fight, zedsdead has previously shown us the power of double piling on mummies, with them being so cheap this tournament you’d have to be mad to bet against them making a reappearance. Tritex’s last tourney with Chaos wasn’t as successful as I’m sure he’d hoped (1/0/5), but was that just lulling us into a false sense of security? With the bucket load of skills he gets to take and the infamous dice rolling techniques we’ve grown to love, Jason could be taking some people downtown… and making them buy some stuff from his shop while they’re there!
Serious contenders? Perhaps not, but the part time Lister and rookie Peo2222222222222223 should be out to prove a point.
The Four Js
Filth Factor: 4
Ranking Points: 2
Experience: 5
Win%: 3
'Odds-On' Thoroughbred: The one with Morg in it!
'One to Watch' Long Odds: The other one with Morg in it?
"Dangerous DV Bookies" Odds to win: 33/1
My favourite team of the whole thing. No one else has the style or class to theme their selections around anything, these guys theme it around one player! It’s Morg, Morg, Morg and MORG! (The last Morg is Schmee’s, he’s even better than the rest.) A scary prospect is playing these guys when the big man is on form, having been on the end of Schmee’s Orc/Morg combo last time with the balls out playstyle I struggled!
Will they win though? It’s a tough one. I certainly hope they do well, a lot of it is going to be down to how many players stay alive while Morg rumbles slowly down the field. Most TD’s to Morg? I hope so!!!!
