Weekly updates for the BBLL

[Abator]

Week 5:
Hello everyone to another exciting week of BLOODBOWL in the BBLL.

Well, last week was an exiciting one to say the least. We got to see Twisted by Design continue to dominate the league and to the other spectrum, the Sslith are no more.

In game one, Twisted by Design beat Rolling Thunder 1 - 0 in one of the more freakish games of the year. Just as the fans, 84000 strong, were checking their rocks and torches, just in case, the snow started to fall. Within minutes, the field was covered in the unnatural white stuff. League officials immediately dispatched league wizards to see if the was foul play by one of the other teams, but it turns out that it was just a freak storm. Well, I have to say, it made for one of the the more comical games. Both teams were slipping and sliding all over the place. It took until the end of the second half before Twisted was able to slide their way into the end zone for a touchdown. After the game, I was able to get a few words from Twisted's Coach, "Interview my team again and die!" Needless to say, I didn't stick around.

Game two the Sslith woes continue. After two blitzes in the game for the Sslith, they only managed to hold on to a 1-1 tie against the powerful Ankle Blighters. This was another game where the Sslith were unable to capitalize on anything. And they got crushed, physically. They ended the game with 4 casulties against, 1 dead, and 6 players knocked out. Midway through the second half, I overheard the Sslith coach warning the team menacingly that if they didn't play better... Well, the team promptly turned over the ball and durning the Ankles next turn, the Ankle's newest Chaos Dwarf, Pete, blitzed a Sslith Saurus, Duga and left just little bits of green skin on field. For the rest of the game, only two turns luckily, I saw the coach slowly sharpening a hugh ass sword. As the game finished, the coach of the Sslith calmly organized his remaning players, which wasn't too difficult as there were only 3 still standing and locked them in the lockerroom. They were then prompty fed to Bullpuckey, the Ankle's Minotaur.

Game 3 had the Maelstrom coming from behind to beat the Bloody Killer Babes 2 - 1. This was a game were the Babes just weren't able to use their charms to woo their opponents. It took awhile for the Chaos to start playing, but when they did... Still there wasn't much to report on this game. The Babes thought they had it easy in the first half and took a 1-0 lead, but it didn't last long. The Maelstrom solidly beat them in the second half.

In Week 6:
Ratfinks vs Maelstrom
Anonymous vs Rolling Thunder
Twisted By Design vs Ankle Blighters

[Ravage]

any week 6 or 7 updates?

[Abator]

There will be when we get to week 6 and week 7. See, that's the fun thing about "weeks", they only happen once a week.

[Ravage]

baha, for some reason i thought your last update was prior to 11/1... methinks i needed more than one cup of coffee this morning, that's at least the second dumb post i made on here today

[Abator]

Week 6:
Hello everybody and welcome to another fantastic, exciting and exhilarating week of bloodbowl in the BBLL. Well, this passed week saw the powerhouse Twisted by Design slip a little bit and a fairly big upset in another game.

In game one, newcomer skaven team, the Evil Gits, faced off against the Maelstrom. The Chaos was looking to easily roll over the little rat team, but they were in for a big surprise. Those little rats took every opportunity they got to score and ran, pun intended, away with the victory 4 - 1. Although, it wasn't without it's consequences as the Maelstrom enjoyed two blitzes in the game. The Maelstrom may have lost the game, but won the war as they killed on linerat and seriously injured the skaven's thrower, storm vermin, and rat ogre. In the game, several plays by the Chaos coach may have been the reason for the Gits' win as the coach made bonehead move after bonehead move. This lack of direction cause easily rattled Minotaur, Flinthoof, to play sub par. You could often see the Maelstrom's coach shaking his head in disbelief as Flinthoof action was wasted. Next game, the Gits are only fielding 7 players. It will be a tough game for the rats.

Game two featured the game of the week as powerhouse Twisted by Design took on upcoming Ankle Blighters. This was a game to watch as the two teams pounded each other at every opportunity. And as most epic matches, neither team was able to grab the advantage and the game finished 1 - 1. Unfortunately, there was one big loser in the game as Twisted's newcomer Mogrot caught Ankle's star hobgoblin, Inky, and pounded him into oblivion. The Ankle's healer, still recovering from a particularity nasty injury earlier in the game, just looked on helplessly. As Twisted by Design celebrated a wonderful play, you could see the Ankle Blighter's coach on the sideline crying out 'INKY, NOOOOOOOO!!!'. A wash of revenge rolled over the Ankle Blighters and on the next play, targeted the killer in question, trying to return the favor. Alas, the game ended with revenge still on the Chaos dwarves little black hearts. Here is an excerpt of the post game interviews:

Inky is dead, alas, crushed in the mangling wheels of the Duperron Death Machine, Twisted by Design.

Teammate and Minotaur Bullpuckey has composed this poem in his honour:

Inky dead
Him small and like flowers
Him no like flowers any more
Him dead
Me am hate orcs forever.


We would put it on Inky's tombstone, but Bullpuckey ate the corpse.

The silver lining to this dark, dark cloud? The Vader of the league has been checked in his indomitable progress. Inky's sacrifice was not in vain, as the Ankle Blighters fought through an evening of truly dismal luck (especially in contrast to Dave "Golden Dice" Duperron's every-block-an-armour-crack streak) to tie the beast in his tracks. Fear now shows in the Twisted by Design dugout. Can defeat and ignomy be far behind?

AVENGE INKY! SMASH THE ORCS!

This message was approved by the Ankle Blighters.
We'll miss you, Inky.

In game three, Rolling Thunder actually started rolling as they soundly defeated Anonymous 2 - 0. This was a tactically sound game for the Thunder as the human's were unable to do anything. Thunder managed to seriously injure 3 players on Anonymous and the human's just managed to hold on to finish the game. The result of so many injuries cause Anonymous ogre Koos van der Merwe to be complete confused and spend most of the game standing there scratching his head. Still, the human's managed a small bit of payback as they managed to take out star dwarf runner, Irongrip, and nearly killed him. As it is, he will be missing the next game. It will be interesting to see if the thunder can keep on rolling.

In next weeks games:
Twisted By Design vs Rolling Thunder
Maelstrom vs Anonymous
Bloody Killer Babes vs Evil Gits

[Abator]

Well, I was off on vacation for the last week and a half, so I had an interm writer throw together the weekly updates.

Let me know what you think

[Abator]

week 7 update:

Apothecaries: More pay, less play!

Bloodbowl Associated Press

11/18/2004
Orcland (BAP) - Record number of injuries this week as many team apothecaries go on strike.

Week 7 saw a record number of injuries happen on the field when many of the leagues apothecaries decided to protest. "We demand more pay for less play" said the healer of the Maelstrom in a press conference earlier this week. Three teams saw their healers not make it to the games this week, but it as it turns out the Twisted by Design healer was just drunk.

To recap the week's games we saw the league leading Twisted by Design take on the up and coming Evil Gits. After pulling off a stunning victory in their first game the Gits were looking to go up to 2-0. Despite the numerous injuries the Gits were confident. In the end confidence wasn't enough as the Gits were felled by a score of 2-1. The ray of hope for the Gits was the fact that they managed to score with only 7 active players. As the game progressed, the amount of Gits on the field decreased, to the point that in Twisted's final drive, their were no more Gits on the field.

The second game this week featured the basement dwelling Anonymous taking on the Maelstrom. Now forgive me for turning this into an editorial, but the Maelstrom try too hard. I do not see it written anywhere that this is a team sport. In what should have been a dominant victory by the Maelstrom, we saw them barely pull by Anonymous 1-0. Anonymous tried many daring plays but in the end, it wasn't enough to get by imposing Maelstrom defense. Rumors from the post game celebration hinted that the meal tasted vaguely of human.

The last game of the week featured Rolling Thunder and the Bloody Killer Babes. This was the bloodiest game seen in a long time. Not since a halfling team decided to brave a bloodbowl field has this reporter so much carnage. Dwarven might was too much as the Rolling Thunder lived up to their name. Several Babes were sidelined as the Thunder breezed to a 2-0 victory. The only shining moment for the Babes was their first drive when they managed to knock down four dwarves.

Here are the rankings after 7 weeks.

Team Points
Twisted by Design 28
Maelstrom 20
Rolling Thunder 18
Ankle Blighters 16
Bloody Killer Babes 16
Sslith 12
Anonymous 10
Evil Gits 06

[Abator]

week 8 update:

Babes: No more! Please!

Bloodbowl Associated Press

11/19/2004
Orcland (BAP) - Injury lawyers and insurance salesmen rejoiced as the Bloody Killer Babes and Rolling Thunder confronted each other in the rubber match this week.

It's been a rough two weeks to be an amazon. This week featured a rematch between the Bloody Killer Babes and Rolling Thunder and who says history doesn't repeat itself? The Thunder took it to the Babes again in an even more convincing rout, beating them soundly by a score of 4-0. All the Babes' coach could do was watch in horror as his players were carted off the field. Luckily no one was mortally wounded, but many of the amazon players were asked if they would like to purchase life insurance after the game. When asked why his team was so aggressive, the Thunder's coach responded "dem ladies ave no beards!"

First place Twisted by Design increased their unbeaten streak to seven as they easily disposed of Anonymous by a score of 2-0. The humans were no match for orc intelligence (sic) as they could not even cross the line of scrimmage. Luckily further embarrassment was avoided as the 30+ thousand orc fans rushed the field and ended the game early. Ogre big guy Ker van der Moos was forced into early retirement as he suffered a smashed collar bone.

Last but not least, the Maelstrom squared off against the Ankle Blighters. The Ankle Blighters, riddled with injuries, managed to still field their whole team. This proved to be a good thing as they narrowly defeated the Maelstrom by a score of 2-1. The game could have been quite different, but in all the snow, it seemed like no Chaos player was in the mood to pick up the ball. The dwarves on the other hand managed to capitalize on the Maelstrom's feeble ball handling skills and took a lead that proved insurmountable.

Next week's games are unknown to this reporter, but it shall all be clarified as the commissioner returns from his fun in the sun.

Here are the rankings after 8 weeks.

Team Points
Twisted by Design 33
Rolling Thunder 23
Maelstrom 21
Ankle Blighters 21
Bloody Killer Babes 17
Sslith 12
Anonymous 11
Evil Gits 06