UK Championship 2010 - the contenders!

[Pipey]

1st JimJimany - 9, 7, 8 (DE, DE, WE) = 24
2nd Rycos - 10, 10 (Sk, Dw) = 20
=3rd Podfrey - 6, 9 (Nec, Vam) = 15
=3rd Pippy - 7, 8 (Liz, Liz) = 15
5th Don_Vito - 10 (Hu) = 10
=6th Ambush3 - 5, 4 (Nor, PE) = 9
=6th Nipples - 9 (Dw) = 9
=8th Ironjaw - 2, 6 (Sk, DE) = 8
=8th Besters - 8 (HE) = 8
=8th Purplegoo - 4, 4 (Or, WE) = 8
11th SillySod - 7 (U/w) = 7
12th Mumbojerry - 6 (Sk) = 6
=13th Blitzwing - 5 (Hu) = 5
=13th Valen - 5 (Or) = 5
15th Geggster - 1, 3 (Nor, WE) = 4
=16th Schmee - 3 (Ch) = 3
=16th PubBolwer - 3 (Or) = 3
=18th Stick - 2 (Kh) = 2
=18th Barney_the_lurker - 2 (U/w) = 2
=20th Northern Knight - 1 (Or) = 1
=20th Joemanji - 1 (Nec) = 1




Rycos – 2-1
The bookie’s favourite, this leviathan of the modern game has played all 24 races on all 5 continents. He even has experience of playing at altitude at some of the highest points on the globe. Ancient Chinese prophets foretold his success in the 3rd century BC, so pretenders to the throne beware!

Stick – 6-1
Stick is always strong, but his upcoming paternal responsibilities may be a distraction. A favourite son of the city of Leicester, he is campaigning to make Rocket Bowl a fixture on the UKC circuit. If he succeeds, who knows what he will be capable of…

Lucifer – 6-1
Behind the scenes, Geoff is planning a rival franchise to the UKC entitled the GUFF award (Geoff’s UK Fantasy Football). He is yet to decide whether he will participate in the UKC, but if he does he has predicted that he himself will be crowned champion before the summer. The bookies are not quite as confident, but with Pippy having given him back his amazons he might ride his one trick pony once again and rekindle past glories.

Joemanji – 8-1
Another one trick pony, the Manj may struggle given new UKC rules which discourage power play with a single race. A less-than-impressive showing at Poo Bowl will not inspire confidence, however this proven champion will be hoping to silence his growing army of critics.

Valen – 8-1
This horse needs to go on a diet before it reaches competition fitness. However rumours are Gav’s quit the booze, so watch out! Was a nearly man from 2009 and definitely in the running for this year’s crown.

JimJimany 8-1
This diminutive number cruncher has all the credentials to take the title. Irritatingly cocky and with an inexhaustible appetite for Blood Bowl, he is surely in with a shout. If he wins, he plans to sell his hair to the wig-making industry to fund a new pair of shoes.

Blitzwing 10-1
Multiple tournament winner Luke is always a force to be reckoned with. He faded a little in Hartlepool after a rip-roaring start, but will be determined to come back strongly at his next outing. As I type, Luke is sharpening his screwdriver on Plumstead Common and plotting future glories.

Purplegoo – 15-1
Phil is the greatest high elf coach of them all and this fact alone has earned him colossal respect within the Blood Bowl community. Unfortunately he is rarely seen outdoors due to his addiction to computer games. On rare occasion he has been known to brave the daylight and has put in some excellent showings on the tournament circuit. Definitely one to watch!

Don_Vito 15-1
Dave is the loudest man in Blood Bowl, exemplified by his legendary snoring which brings to mind wildebeest during the mating season (his soft palate is the size of a 20oz filet steak). Displaying many behaviours associated with Neanderthal man, this rare species can be found loitering close to laptops at tournaments. It is hard to imagine a more fitting entrant into the Monkeybowl Hall of Fame than this distant but direct descendant of proto-simian.

Silly Sod 15-1
A true eccentric both on and off the Blood Bowl pitch, the ‘Sodomizer’ bummed several tier 1 teams with his Underworld line-up at Monkey Bowl this year. If only he changed his underwear during tournaments as often as he changes his roster…!

Besters – 15-1
Jim’s full participation in the 2010 UKC is dependent on how quickly he recovers from his hip replacement operation next month. Rivals will be hoping for a lengthy stay in hospital as Besters is a dangerous opponent more than capable of challenging for the UKC.

Nipples - 15-1
The Man with the Golden Nipples burst onto the big stage at Waterbowl with an unbeaten display, narrowly missing out on his maiden tournament victory. He has learned to draw upon the energy of his growing fan-base to aid him in times of difficulty.

Ambush3 - 18-1
Ambush3 has long lived in the shadow of his father the legendary Ambush2 who dominated the LRB1 tournament scene in the late 90s. Since Ambush-junior won Tritex’s big money tournament last year, he has increased in confidence and has become a regular fixture on the top tables. Frazer’s grandfather Ambush1 never played blood bowl.

Mumbojerry - 20-1
One of the game’s nice-guys, mumbo dominated Waterbowl 2010 until an uncharacteristic final-round choke squashed his title bid. Affable yet supercilious, Oxbridge Nick floats through the tournament scene with a disarming arrogance. Despite protestations about taking time out to complete his PhD, the BB ‘champ’ will definitely be one to watch as the season progresses.

Ironjaw - 25-1
Having recently won his long and brave battle against mental illness, Leon is now back and he answered his critics splendidly with an excellent Waterbowl. Even so, a draw against (an albeit reinvigorated) Schmee will leave many pundits asking harsh questions. Most would agree however that if he can get his head right and conquer his hatred of everyone and everything in the world, then anything’s possible.

Barney the lurker 47-1
Recent winner of BBC3’s Young Fishmonger of the Year reality TV show, Barney has turned his attention back to Blood Bowl this Spring. Having scrambled the Egg and served him on a plate at Monkeybowl, he will be setting his sights even higher as the season progresses. Barney’s other interests include carpet combing, cake decorating and golf.

PubBowler 47-1
Tired of being labelled Mr nice guy, Dave is working on a new game-face and has recently had a pair of bionic eyebrows fitted to psych out his opponents. They are based on the eyebrows of Lucifer, who he has been secretly studying since Alba Bowl 09. Will this make any difference? Has he finally lost his marbles? In any case, Dave’s a previous tournament winner so is in with a chance if he can bring his A-game to the UKC party.

Schmee – 75-1
Placed higher than the likes of Eggy and Stick at Poo Bowl IV with his favourite tier 2 chaos team. Is this unprecedented performance a sign of changes to come? All eyes will be on him at Waterbowl where he will be hoping to disprove those who expect a swift return to the bottom tables.

Geggster – 76-1
After finishing below Schmee at Poo Bowl this year, what chance now for this ageing has-been who is still living off past glories? Many pundits fear the worst. He may be more suited to the seniors tour (where it is rumoured they are still playing LRB4).

[Purplegoo]

If you'll give me 75-1 or better, I'll have a sneaky tenner on Sizzling_Gromril. Any gentleman displaying a 100% record with a Leaping Mino has to be shown the utmost respect (no ball is safe from the ultimate weapon - Wardancers are so last year), and rumour has it that he has developed a taste for powergamery after Amazons "playing themselves" for him at the Flamebowl. Finally; he's probably the coach that lives closest to me geographically, and within the grim, uncompromising Wigan landscape (picture Fallout 3 without the colour and civilisation – must feed the addiction with more computer game references), it's good to keep your mates onside!

[Sizzler]

It looks like a tough one to call this year.

And Phil, that kind of gambling pattern will only land you in the poor house.

[Thadrin]

Bionic eyebrows. LOL.

Completely off topic: When I got my Wii I did a bunch of extra avatars so I'd have a team of "my" guys when I played Wii sports Baseball. I did one called "the geek". It's only just struck me how like Pubbowler it looks...

[Joemanji]

It's ah-Rycos versus Jimmy "the Blitz" Gradwell for my money. Both laid down a marker in the first event of the year.

Scores after Waterbowl:

20 -- Lycos -- 10, 10 (Sk, Dw)
16 -- Jimany -- 9, 7 (DE, DE)
15 -- Pippy -- 7, 8 (Lz, Lz)
9 -- Nippy Longskar -- 9 (Dw)
8 -- Pgoo -- 4, 4 (Or, WE)
8 -- Besters -- 8 (HE)
6 -- Valen -- 5, 1 (Or, Or)
6 -- Mumbojumboist -- 6 (Sk)
6 -- Lucifer -- 6 (Ne)
5 -- Ambush3 -- 5 (No)
4 -- PubBowler -- 1, 3 (Or, Or)
3 -- Schmee -- 3 (Ch)
3 -- Stick -- 2, 1 (Kh, CD)
2 -- Cracol, Joemanji, Tritex, Gazza, MattWhile, Shaniepoo
1 -- Geggster, Mippin, Daz, PeteW, LoveMunkey, Gazza, Tiamo69, Pug, Hudson, NortherKnight, Stanrichardson, Gorgoroth, Inoculator, littlejonnyfrostbite, Barney the Lurker, Sizzling Gromril, mamapepe, Jimbo9, Butcher, DonShula, lnessmon, Beanbag, sann0638, Don Vito, chosengobbo, vmcat, Dazlamb, Mutley, nethrag, WilburS, SexyMcSexSex, Leipziger, Ninjahamster, Kev Parkin

[Barney the Lurker]

What about the Man of Iron MumboJerry?

After testing the waters last year with his GT win, he may go for a few more this year?

surely worth a punt?

[Joemanji]

He's the only BB player with his own theme song ...

[Purplegoo]

I think Nick's way too nice to send up in the comedy way Pip went for, that can be the only reason for his omission.

I've not read the rules in full, but I seem to remember to win this it helps to play and travel aplenty, so I imagine Joe's right and Lycos and Jim have a great shot both on coaching, and on the basis they each play a million tourneys a year!

[Pipey]

Please don't be offended if you weren't included

Only did odds for peeps who were at Poo...

[Hangus]

Please don't be offended if you weren't included

Only did odds for peeps who were at Poo...

'Hangus ignored by Pippy .....AGAIN'

Never liked you Bren.

[mubo]

He's the only BB player with his own theme song ...

Two theme songs. The one that goes da-da-da-da-da-iron-Nick, and mumbo No.5.

[Pipey]

Please don't be offended if you weren't included

Only did odds for peeps who were at Poo...

'Hangus ignored by Pippy .....AGAIN'

Never liked you Bren.

xxx

[Hangus]

xxx

ahhh i can't stay mad at you, you big hunk of a man / lighthouse

chance are i will not be making the 'right' tourneys this year. I am only doing the GT, PKQ and Monkey (thats if Spiky is not on your list).

[Pipey]

Don't forget, as Uncle Dave Rycos says - it's just for raughs! Not to be taken too seriously

[Thadrin]

Many LOLz.

Man/Lighthouse indeed.