THE ARKHAM ASYLUM BLOOD BOWL TEAMS

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:19 pm

JaM wrote:Congrats on the win, nice write-up too .

Thanks, Jam! I find, with a little imagination, even the weirdest shtuff can be explained (but you gotta admit that it's downright BIZARRE for a Pitch Invasion to result in 1 out of 22 stuns!!! )

JaM wrote:Cant wait to see the mini painted, curious how it turned out...

Varnished him around noon and just put a matte finish on 'im.... Should be ready for pics after work, tomorrow.... I even included "1" on the facing sides of his "Wand of Ones".... Hopefully, with this display of dedicated arse-kissery, Nuffle will bless my dice forever....

JaM · Post by **JaM** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 9:52 am

HA!

Dont over-do it, however. I think he/she/it doesnt like that...

At least, that's my experience.

Also, I find that having a "brick" of dice (12, those "bigger ones") next to the board helps. Somehow I have the feeling "there's a one coming up", and I can exchange the current one for a "fresh" dice (die ?). Just having 2 dice and rolling everything with those doenst work for me.

Could be just me though.

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Mon Sep 14, 2009 10:39 am

I went through a month of changing dice, ... no joy.... Things are somewhat better now... guess all non-power-gamers have slumps....

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:34 pm

Finishing up on both pieces....

Fluff:

Gallows Sports Bar & Grill

Bartender: Mumble Jerry. Makes zombies till you become one! Mouth sewn together to prevent feasting upon customers' brains....

On Tap (honestly, it's what's on the barrels!):

AA Arkham Asylum's favorite brand! "If you're not crazy enough to buy our beer, you're not crazy enough for "Arkham Asylum!" (Any after-taste of emblaming fluid is purely coincidental... really!....)

Grog The watered-down, pansy stuff for pirates, imps, the wee ones, children, and the occasional elf/dwarf we let through the doors....

Blitz A special, "stout" brew, only available to those with the Mighty Blow and/or Juggernaut skills! "Guaranteed to put a *POW* in your next blocking action!!!!"

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 9:34 pm

The Gravely Ill know that time is always against them... that disease and rot will eventually win... that they play on to an uncertain future....

"The Good Guys" (humans) would invade The Killing Fields, looking to scrabble up from last place in the ol' B.U.M.P. & GRIND ladder league against the win-less and only slightly (1 point) better Diseased Dons of Don't Score-dom.... The sun shined blightly and the stench wafted lovingly across the field... so much so that only 7 thousand humans joined the 2 thousand faithful and an astonishing 10 thousand rotters filled the stands in the hopes of finally catching a win... instead of a w(h)iff.... +1 FAME to Nurgle, as well as the kick-off...!

Bon-bon (Beast of Nurgle) took an unsteady stance in the center of the LOS alongside 2 Rotters... with 2 Pestigors in the wides.... The four Nurgle Warriors caged the expected center of kick, next to the wide zones, and two rotters sat back to practice their pass(less) skill (both needed 1spp).... The GGs shanked the ball badly and it came down on the LOS and in the hands of the newly recruited Pestigor: Fleabag! He immediately took a hook pattern back to the caging NurgWarriors while the rest moved up and started exchanging blows with the Human line....

Long story short... that's about as exciting as it got.... The Good Guys were NOT good at most anything and mistakenly, once, rolled ice cubes on the field... not being able to tell the difference in the blatantly frigid randomizers that Nuffle had obviously breathed on.... Fleabag would cough up the (hair)ball once, but quickly get it back as the un-diseased started filling up the Guy's knock out bin.... Even two turns of Stupid (and I mean INCREDIBLY), combined with two turn ending double skulls, from Bon-bon would not make much difference.... Fleabag scores on turn 8 and the good-turned-bad turns worse with none of four KOs returning for the undermanned men and having their best (+MV, +Sprint) Catcher only saved from Rotter Status by divine intervention of their Apothecary....

The second half and only 1 of 4 Humans return from the virulent flu-like symptoms that the Ill laid upon them.... On top of that, it took 3 turns just to secure the ball, with a failed pick up and a failed hand-off... by which time Vincent Price (a Slannesh-Fly, Nurgle Warrior) had a tackle zone on the ball.... A wildly dodging, scooping thrower would frustrate the "Fly Guy", but have little place to go and no receivers available! He promptly got surrounded by Warriors, Rotters and Bon-bon, who made a RS & GFI to put tentacles on the ballsy ball thrower.... A desperately heaved throw (two chances at a "6") would fumble to the feet of Rotthead... who took two turns to scoop the pig-bladder before shuffling down-field.... The rest of the team would put blocks and boots enough into the opponents to make the Rotter unassailable....

The mercy-killing would end at 2-0 for the Gravely Ill... their first win and, really, a coaster of a game.... The Nurgles never received even a stun!

Rotthead would skill up with either added armor, or train for a regular skill... while Nurgle Warrior "Bones Malone" rolled the Golden Graces (6+6) and went all BEEFCAKE!!!! The team finally found a thousand faithful and, with 100k in the pustuled puss (kitty), are comtemplating another Pestigor and possibly firing a couple of under-performing Rotters....

Gravely Ill (Nurgle)
WTL 1-0-2
100k Treasury
0 FF/2 RR 0AC/0CL

TD (3) difference: 0; Casualty (5) difference: +5

Rott Head/Rotter/5338/Decay, Rot, (6+4)/8spp
Rott Eye/Rotter/5338/Decay, Rot/5spp
Rott Gut/Rotter/5338/Decay, Rot/0spp
Rott Bile/Rotter/5338/Decay, Rot/5spp
Rott Teeth/Rotter/5338/Decay, Rot/0spp
Fleabag/Pestigor/6338/Horns, Regen/3spp
Horned Adder/Pestigor/6338/Horns, Regen/0spp
Vincent Price/N.Warrior/4429/Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearence, Regen/2spp
Jeff Goldblum/N.Warrior/4429/Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearence, Regen/2spp
Bones Malone/N.Warrior/4529/Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearence, Regen, +St/7spp
Buster Crabbe/N.Warrior/4429/Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearence, Regen/0spp
Bon-bon/Beast of Nurgle/4519/Loner, Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearence, Mighty Blow, Rot, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Tentacles

Question of the day: Give the Rotter +Av...? I'm really tempted to use him as Bon-bon's minder... and possibly give him kick, "to boot", at a later date.... Or should something else come to mind... Foul Appearence/Disturbing Presence...?

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 12:24 am

Those dinky rotten daredevils of the woodland fromage danced their perverse way back to the Manor's Graveyard to rematch the Dead Reckoning...! The Big Cheesy dripped their way in like a happy child's macoroni dinner... hardly pleasing to the puss-laden players of the deadly demise....

The Cheesy chose two Begonia Babes and the kick-off.... 11000 fans of the felled glared at 7000 pointy-eared freaks... the tension thick in the air... till a mis-interpreted (o.k., PROPERLY interpreted) zombified groan about the elves rotting mother led to broken formations and lots of whistles blowing (do zombies even have ears to hear?! ).... The refs quickly restored order and let the clocks run on....

On The Killing Fields, Nuffle favored the righteous Reckoning with a defensive turn-over and a ghoulish goal...!!!! All this sandwiched around an evilly bone-crushing, howling foul of the Cheese's only wardancer by Zombie Grit...

Oh, the Ref did, indeed, send Grit to the (dirt) showers... but Grit spit upon the crumpled body as the apothecary rushed upon the field... to no avail... for trying to save a damaged back would only lead to injury of the skull region.... Niggling injury to the wardancer....

The second half would open with a catch... well, a non-catch of a pass, actually, which led to a spirited razzle-dazzle, 2+ fest of elvish foolishness... 2 GFIs and a tie game....

But Nuffle came back to the Dead's VIP box, shortly after, and the flowered felons would catch two more injuries and some serious smack-down on the way to a Wight's winning TD....

Gag a maggot! We're gonna have to get the Rotters of the Gravely Ill to roll in the grass to get the smell of elf outta here....

Arguing the purse never does Goreman any good and 50k quickly became 30 k...

However, the G-ghoul would be singing a happy dirge as the MVP was awarded to Rancid, and the Dodge-Accurate wonder would roll 5+6 for an Ag upgrade!!!!

Mwha-ha-ha....

Dead Reckoning (Undead)
WTL 4-0-1
120k Treasury
4 FF/3 RR 0AC/0CL
TV 1,260,000

TD (8 ) difference: +2; Casualty (5) difference: +3

Dirt/Zombie/4328/Regen/2spp
Grit/Zombie/4328/Regen/2spp
Grime/Zombie/4328/Regen/0spp
Sludge/Zombie/4328/Regen/5spp
Gunk/Zombie (Human)/4328/Regen/5spp
Gory Rory/Ghoul/7237/Dodge, Sure Hands/11spp
Rancid/Ghoul/7347/Dodge, Accurate, +Ag/18spp
Giggler/Ghoul/7337/Dodge, Block/10spp
Gutrot/Ghoul/7337/Dodge, (niggling)/3spp
Spooky/Wight/6338/Block, Regen/2spp
Casper/Wight/6338/Block, Regen/3spp
Ghoulishka/Mummy/3519/Mighty Blow, Regen/2spp
Killjoy/Mummy/3519/Mighty Blow, Regen/2spp

JaM · Post by **JaM** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:19 pm

Wow... you really dont like Elves, do you ?

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sun Oct 04, 2009 2:15 pm

JaM wrote:Wow... you really dont like Elves, do you ?

HA!, if they were properly Ag'ed and costed, they'd be just another BB team... but I digress....

The report was real fluffy, and the game really came down to pathetic dice rolls: double Nuffling his rerolls away in the opening turns of both halves and my positioning against him to create needed 3+ dodges on non-dodge elves, which he couldn't seem to roll.... The past month has been dreadful for him... very much like it was for me at the inauguration of the ladder... his teams have been falling down the rungs.... Fortunately the elf coach is a good sport... but he won't curse or praise Nuffle... and it's costing him....

Winning is a funny thing in a ladder league.... IF eliminating the curse of "fromage en bois" were my real goal, then I should LET them win and hope they never get challenged... therefore timing them out.... (Course the coach could just re-introduce a new elf team and the cycle start again).... That would retire them as a #1 icon, though, and I'm not up for that!

The ease with which they scored their touchdown is an afront to real BB and football.... Had the dice rolled average for the woodies... containment would've been a moot point, old friend....

(Can anyone name that last sentence, movie reference?)

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sat Oct 10, 2009 11:05 pm

Digger Goreman wrote:...containment would've been a moot point, old friend....

(Can anyone name that last sentence, movie reference?)

Meh, bunch of Philistines....

It's from "Men In Black"...!
**************************************************
*Cue up the 50's Pop Music*

My Nufflin's back and there's gonna be trouble!
(Hey, La!... Hey, La!, my Nufflin's back!)
If I'm gonna roll a One... it's gonna be a Double!!
(Hey, La!... Hey, La!, my Nufflin's back!)

No one hates success like Nuffle!

Ties are gonna happen... and sometimes against underdog teams.... But why does it have to be so grotesquely spectacular in my case...?!

The Tomb Kings (Khemri) invaded the Killing Fields, looking to tussle with the League leading Dead Reckoning (Undead).... After matching the FAME and losing the kick to the Undead, the Khemri would get one turn of competitive "tussle", and 15 turns of "Kung-Fu Hustle", with the Kings dancing all over the graves of the home team!

Spectacular failure would be the new moniker of "Killjoy" (appropriately named mummy) for failing two separate blitzes with a 1+1 gfi, both times....

Combined with giving up three casualties and causing two to themselves (can you say, "Killer Grass"?! ), it's no wonder the Reckoning was Dead on the field.... Nuffle is a perverse git and would make it a game by denying the Khemri a 2/3rds blitz success in the closing moments of the first half... or all would've been thorougly lost.... Gutrot (ghoul) would finally get up from a "double-down" blitz and "fall" on the ball in the corner of the endzone.... The rest of the game would be broken Undead armor... failed regens... and enough double ones (and simply ones, after burned out rerolls) that people would think I was rehearsing for a mickey-dees commercial, "Ba-ba-ba-ba-baaaaaa, I'm Nufflin' it!"

The Dead would be roughed roughly: one regenerated zombie for one regenerated skeleton; then a Badly Hurt Wight, and two MNG ghouls... one with its SECOND niggle.... Of course some myopic miasma-brained "committee" continues to leave "regen" off the ghouls and no on-roster Igor for the rest... while leaving treemen on the woodie fromage.... Such is the un-life of the Undead....

Apparently, keeping one's feet is remarkable enough to get an MVP in this game... as Ghouliska (the OTHER mummy) made bank and got a regular skill.... Probably guard.... The only other skill-up is Gutrott (now double-niggled ghoul) who is looking at a regular skill of block.... The team is now looking more Dead than Reckoning and I'm deeply considering, with 190k in the bank of retiring the 2 St ghoul.... Blodge will have to keep the double-niggled ghoul as safe as can be expected....

The bloody story, as of now:

Dead Reckoning (Undead)

WTL 4-1-1
190k Treasury
5 FF/3 RR 0AC/0CL
TV (tbd)

TD (9) difference: +1; Casualty (6) difference: +1

Dirt/Zombie/4328/Regen/2spp
Grit/Zombie/4328/Regen/2spp
Grime/Zombie/4328/Regen/0spp
Sludge/Zombie/4328/Regen/5spp
Gunk/Zombie (Human)/4328/Regen/5spp

Gory Rory/Ghoul/7237/Dodge, Sure Hands/12spp
Rancid/Ghoul/7347/Dodge, Accurate, +Ag/19spp MNG
Giggler/Ghoul/7337/Dodge, Block/10spp
Gutrot/Ghoul/7337/Dodge, Block (niggling x2)/6spp MNG

Spooky/Wight/6338/Block, Regen/2spp
Casper/Wight/6338/Block, Regen/3spp

Ghoulishka/Mummy/3519/Mighty Blow, Regen, Guard/7spp
Killjoy/Mummy/3519/Mighty Blow, Regen/2spp

N.B.: A "Tomb Guardian" skilled up for Khemri and, at 120k, is as good as a Mummy... only faster... for the inconsequential "negative" (on a 9 Av player) of Decay.... AND they get FOUR of these.... Reroll yer boneheads, people, and eliminate this bad joke of an overbearing oversight! Meh, if only I were King....

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 12:08 pm

In breaking news: Gory Rory and Gutrot have retired from the Dead Reckoning, due to injuries sustained.... Their replacements have started training and will be available for tomorrow's game vs. the challenging "Good Guys" human team....

mattgslater · Post by **mattgslater** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 3:39 pm

Let's hear it for the new blood!

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:04 pm

New blood was not nearly enough.... There are only two words sufficient to describe today's meeting of The Good Guys (last place humans) and Dead Reckoning (first place undead):

[EXPLECITIVE DELETED!!!!]

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 9:27 pm

*Cue Queen's John Deacon (bassist)*

Nuffle walks scarily down the street,
With devil sign way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of defeat,
Dice are ready to roll
Are you ready to play, Are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway Nuffle whistles
Your dice are beat

LOOK OUT!

Another "1" cracks my nuts
Another "1" cracks my nuts
And another one’s thrown, and another one’s thrown
Another "1" cracks my nuts
Hey, I might roll a two!
Still Nuffle cracks my nuts!!!

How do you think I'm going to get the ball,
When all you roll’s a one?
You took me for everything that I had,
And made my head a bone!

Are you happy, are you satisfied?!
How long can I stand this “sheet”?
Out of the doorway the raspberry rips
It's the sound of defeat!

Another "1" cracks my nuts
Another "1" cracks my nuts (Ow!, Ow!)
Another "1" cracks my nuts (No Way!)
Nuffle cracks my nuts

(ayyyyyyyyyyyyy!)

There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can skull him out and leave him
When he's double-down
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the raspberry rips
Repeating the sound of defeat!!!!

JaM · Post by **JaM** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:15 am

I'm Loving It... (Ill vomiting IIRC)

Digger Goreman · Post by **Digger Goreman** » Wed Oct 14, 2009 10:21 pm

I've finally tweaked the Zen 7.1, LRB 6 team manager spreadsheet so one can have the player name, stats and skills all on one line and one can assign ANY numbering system you like!!!!

Enjoy....