Flame Bowl III Smack Talk

[Sizzler]

This is slander! Those photographs were taken by consenting adults and neither myself nor PeteW should feel ashamed!

[Wightlord]

It was only a matter of time before something like this came out.

A sad day for Flame Bowl and Flame On

So true - I always looked up to Sizzler as the perfect example to our adoring young fans wanting to play BB when they grew up.

I feel physically sick at these sordid revelations and suggest he should go into "Flamebowl administration" and be docked 9 points accordingly.

[Purplegoo]

I think it's likely that this represents me jumping the shark, but even so, for the final time of 2010 and sending me into semi-retirement;

Purplegoo's Purple Picks: Flame Bowl Round One!

In honour of our host, Japanophile Nipples, they're in the form of Haiku! Yes, it's a slow old day...

1. Donshula (Scotland - Chaos Dwarf) 2 vs 0 Sean (Flame On C - Dark Elf)

Flame on team C, the
unluckiest draw going.
First loss on the cards.

2. Purdinas (Scotland – Norse) 1 vs 2 Fireolli (Brutal Deluxe – Lizardmen)

North Korea has
less impressive guns than Oli.
Victory assured.

3. Stan (Gazza’s Tears - Undead) 0 vs 2 Jimany (Paincake - Wood Elf)

Who? Winkle-Picka!
Swiss Stan will have no answer
to Lips a go-go.

4. Ironjaw (Kings and Leon - Chaos Dwarf) 3 vs 0 Nethrag (Flame On C – Underworld)

Foreign? I hope not!
Leon can't stand the buggers.
Channel the hate, smash.

5. Chilblain (MoX – Lizardmen) 1 vs 2 Big Pete (Batterers – Necromantic)

Pete has size covered;
his oppo pain afflictions.
Prefer Chinese burns.

6. Behindu (MoX – Orc) 0 vs 1 Valen (Scotland – Dwarf)

Next big thing they say!
Gavin's already big, so
only one winner here.

7. Stick (Gazza’s Tears - Chaos Dwarf) 2 vs 0 Grotsmeg (Flame On C – Chaos)

Geordie skipper here,
Dart shirted Daz Lamb a-like.
Sadly, looks like win.

8. Barney (Flame On B - Dark Elf) 2 vs 0 Don Vito (Gazza’s Tears – Human)

The lurker has a
racial advantage. Too good
not to stick it in.

9. Polarbear (Paincake – Underworld) 2 vs 2 Beanbag (Brutal Deluxe - High Elf)

Cracking Manc off in
the offing here. Rob to warp
space and time. Ow Quiche!

10. Geggster (Kings and Leon – Halfling) 2 vs 0 Vodrake (Flame On C – Human)

Captain steals re-rolls.
Humans fail far too many rolls,
agility three? Poop.

11. Sizzling Gromril (Flame On B – Norse) 1 vs 1 Hangus (Local Heroes - Chaos Dwarf)

Tie of the round? Might
well be; das Tikka Sizzler
and big Ben, quality.

12. Sillysod (Swim Team – Underworld) 2 vs 0 Shanie (Batterers - Chaos Dwarf)

Swimmer meets chief of
backside based bashing grouping.
Swimmers sniff glory.

13. Ambush (Swim Team - Dark Elf) 2 vs 1 Grumbledook (Kings and Leon – Human)

Pronounced Fra-zer, though
Ag-ri-co-la riles the Gegg.
Darkies produce W.

14. Lycos (Kings and Leon – Khemri) 2 vs 0 Schmee (Local Heroes – Orc)

Bloodbowling legends.
Heavy bashing matchup, this,
harvest festival.

15. Ninjahamster (Flame On B – Chaos) 1 vs 1 Purplegoo (Swim Team – Skaven)

Chaos my bogey;
already panicking, hope
for shenanigans.

16. Joemanji (Paincake - Dark Elf) 1 vs 1 "Bum Monkey" (Swim Team - Wood Elf)

Team England collide;
one thing is for certain, know
that the con is on.

17. NorthernKnight (Brutal Deluxe – Orc) 1 vs 1 Martell (MoX – Chaos)

Orcs and Chaos is
strength four smash-fest. No winners
this time. A score draw.

18. Leipziger (Brutal Deluxe – Undead) 1 vs 1 Ironick (Paincake – Skaven)

Rats hate raised forces.
Alex to produce upset?
Might fall just short. Tie!

19. Wightlord (Batterers – Orc) 2 vs 1 Jordell (Scotland – Amazon)

Tough one this; Champ plays
annoying women. Will squeak
it, but will hate Blodge.

20. Gobbo (Batterers – Lizardmen) 1 vs 2 Wilburs (MoX - Dark Elf)

Wilbur frustrated
at previous picks. So now
got him down for win.

21. Pippy (Gazzas Tears – Lizardmen) 2 vs 0 Zedsdead (Local Heroes – Undead)

Derby! Geordies hate
the very thought. Mackems not
in sight here, relief.

22. Zoglug (Flame On B - Dwarf) 0 vs 1 Jeeves (Local Heroes – Dwarf)

One for the purist.
Thank the Lord they're allowed
only four Guards total.

[Joemanji]

14. Lycos (Kings and Leon – Khemri) 2 vs 0 Schmee (Local Heroes – Orc)

Bloodbowling legends.
Heavy bashing matchup, this,
harvest festival.

I laughed!

[Ironjaw]

2 dumps already,
but the stink is more plesant than,
The breath of a frog

[Sizzler]

Fantastic work, Phil,
Although not as accurate,
Swim Team bound to fail

[Northernknight]

Is it wrong to be genuinely looking forward to abusing Judasmanji (who will be on the table next to me) more than the game itself?

[purdindas]

I'll show you my guns at the weekend Phil and rest assured I will win the first match

[Pipey]

Bravo! Quality post Phil.

Though I think you're looking through swim-stained specs with some of those predictions.

Barney's a lovely chap but Doggidy Don will be too much for him. This is exactly the kind of match-up the GBBL Dossier was created to deal with. Sir Donald will deliver.

Stan will capitalise on Jimmy's nerves. At least a draw for WinklePicka.

Not so sure my match vs Zedsdead will be so easy. We go back years and our games are always thrillers.

[Purplegoo]

I'll have you know that they're goggles!

Only a bit of forum fun, looking forward to the real deal!

[Purplegoo]

Wintery scene today in the People's Republic of Wigan!

Rather than the Rocky IV montage recreation that I had planned for today to build up for the weekend, I had the breakfast of nerdish Champions (Weetabix and making my online Chess moves half asleep and half dressed, followed by defrosting the front door so I could exit).

Two more sleeps until go time!

[Pipey]

Twas a wintery night indeed over here too! Started snowing in Sunderland about 3.30pm.

I had an extreme breakfast this morning whilst listening to the Ashes. Six hash browns, Five veggie sausages, 2 eggs, plum toms, mushrooms, toast! Mmmmmm...

You know you've had a good breakfast when your biggest plate was too small to fit it on!

Two more breakfasts like that to go!

Fightback required in Brisbane... Couple of wickets in the morning and we're right back in it!

[Ironjaw]

I dumped into a champagne flute and after mixing with OJ and drank it down...

and it still tasted better that Pippy's meatless mess of a meal

[SillySod]

Mmmmmm, pizza.

I could murder a parmo though.

[Jimjimjimany]

Practiced my victorious captains speech in front of the mirror; it went well. Probably too many superlatives, is 7 minutes ok mark? I’ve allowed for 3 minutes of applause throughout.